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CHAPTER 1 of my NANOWRIMO story entitled: Memories
Today was the day the world ended, well maybe not THE world but my world, or a part of it really. Today is the day of my Great-Aunt Araceli's funeral. It's weird knowing that my aunt is not going to be around come Christmas in a few months, or knowing she won't be able to come see my violin recital next week, my mom isn't sure if I should still perform since we are at Great-Aunt Araceli's funeral today, but my Aunt loved my music and told me to never miss a show so I am going to do this for her. I will be playing for her and hoping she hears it wherever she is, I want her to be proud of me, she wouldn't want us to be sad, she would want us to remember the happy times the good times we had with her.
Looking at my mom and my grandma, I know they are sad and they miss Aunt Araceli a lot, neither of them is looking up and standing straight as she would say, they are looking at their feet and hiding their faces. Aunt Araceli would always say "look up and show the world your face, even when you are sad show them you are not broken!" She would never have wanted us to be sad, I think if she had gotten her way we would have had to wear rainbow colors to her funeral, she hated the color black said it was not a color but something that drained all the color away, made everything dull and lifeless. Even in the last month or so when she was really sick she never seemed dull or lifeless, which is something she prided herself on. Not letting people know she was sick or feeling ill, she was amazing at being able to hide her illness from others even at the worst times.
If i look over at my uncle and my grandpa they are sad as well, you can see it in their eyes if you look closely but their faces are stoic, I guess its a man thing, because as i look at the rest of the male guests i see all dry and straight faces. Their eyes though tell the whole story, you can see it, the sorrow reflecting in them as they look at the casket that has my Aunt's body in it. The official makes a motion with his hand which beckons my grandmother and her husband forward. Aunt Araceli never married so she has no husband to visit her grave and Aunt Araceli and Grandma Akilina's parents died before I was born so Grandma and her husband are the first to go to the casket and say their goodbyes. After Grandma and Grandpa it is my mom and dad's turn to go, I go up with them but hold back, tugging lightly on my moms arm so she lets go of me, She turns and looks at me
"I want to say goodbye to her by myself" I whisper softly.
Something passes through my moms eyes before she nods and lets go of my hand to walk up to the casket and place a lily on it. From where i am standing I can not see what my mom is doing but I see her head bow before she moves away from the casket. Trembling I walk up the rest of the way and place the lily and the note I wrote to her on top of the casket.
"Aunt Araceli, I know wherever you are you are happy, you never went a day in your life that I knew you as an unhappy person. I will do my best to always be happy. I will never forget you." I vow as I look at the picture of my Aunt sitting on the porch swing at Grandma Akiline's home.
I walk back and join my parents who are next to my grandparents and my grandma hugs me close. I don't even protest even though she's kind of suffocating me in her shoulder, I know she needs the comfort. I do too, the reassurance that someone is alive and well, and will not be leaving anytime soon. We watch the rest of the funeral guests pay their respects to Aunt Araceli and then the official motions to the people waiting to the side of the funeral party. I watch as they walk over and begin to lower the casket into the grave. It was something I knew was going to happen, but to watch as it slowly is swallowed up into the ground is another thing it is heart-rending. I wanted to look away and I did for a moment but I saw Aunt Araceli's picture on one of the little booklets that my mom and grandma made, and as I looked at it for that moment I could hear her telling me to watch her and not take my eyes off of her. That this was not a sad time but a time of an end meeting a beginning. Looking back at the casket being lowered, I remembered what was in those little booklets they had made, a picture of Aunt Araceli, her birth date and death date, high school she attended, college she went to, activities she had participated in, places she liked, her hobbies and charities she was fond of. It was a booklet that had Aunt Araceli's life wrapped up in it completely, it was amazing that such a tiny book could have that much information in it.
We stayed after most everyone had left with my grandparents, they needed us there, and I did not mind staying longer. Most people find graveyards scary places, places where ghost stories are told and zombies come alive. To me a graveyard is peaceful, it is a place where people go to sleep away the rest of their existence. I do not think that people stop existing once they are dead, because if they did would they fade from our memories? People who die have to exist maybe not in this world or on this plane even, and I am not talking about religions either but they have to exist somewhere, even if that existence is only in our memories. Graveyards are also places where stories are held, the tombstones and tombs tell stories of the people that are engraved on them or entombed inside them. Every marker is another part of history, and it pains me to see some of them in such a state of disrepair their stories are faded and crumbling away. Looking at Aunt Araceli's marker it is still gleaming with newness and I know i will never let it get crumbly and broken. Her story will be one that is able to be read for as long as I can preserve it.
After my grandmother finished saying her goodbyes to her sister, we split into separate cars and headed to the reception type thing that had been planned by my uncles wife. She had done the planning of this so that my mother and grandmother would have less to stress about since they had the planning for the funeral and all to deal with. As we headed into the backyard of my uncles home, I heard music, as I listened closer I realized it was my Aunt's favorite song beginning to play. I began hearing the murmuring of voices and almost jumped when I felt a hand on my arm, turning I realize it was Aunt Araceli's friend Logan. I gave him a hug, and when we pulled apart he left his hands on my shoulders and he smiled faintly; kinda wryly,
"You look so much like Araceli when she was your age." Blinking as I look at him in faint confusion. He smiles again "never been shown pictures of her when she was that young have you?"
Shaking my head in the negative he gently pulls me over to the side where there a table set up. On the table is the booklet that was at the funeral as well as a guest book and several books. Picking up a medium sized one he flips open to a certain page and shows it to me. Looking at it my eyes grow wide as I look at a person who could be my twin or that I could have been a twin of had we been born at the same time, and not decades apart. Looking up at Logan he smiled and gestured for me to flip the page to the next sequence of pictures. I could see Aunt Araceli standing there with her violin proudly in her hands. This was a side I had never seen of my Aunt, I knew she had loved listening to my music, but she had never told me that she knew how to play as well.
Seeing me looking hard at that picture in particular Logan began speaking to me, "She loved that instrument, but back before we knew what she had, we thought she was just sick a lot of the time, and she would get incredibly shaky and it would mess her up. She had just gotten some medicine that helped quell the shaking and it was a good thing too, she had a recital to perform, but whatever she had out maneuvered her medicine. In the middle of her song her hand slipped and she played a wrong note, it was obvious to even the most music-less person in the audience but rather than break down and leave she held her head high and began right before that part and finished the song flawlessly. That was when we first knew something was wrong."
Listening to Logan's story about my aunt made me proud of the person that I knew, She had imparted those lessons she had learned to me even if she hadn't told me the story, it was still something of hers that she gave to me, her courage.
Wandering around through the rest of the guests at the reception and receiving condolences from friends of Aunt Araceli's and relatives that I rarely saw except on special occasions. Musing to myself 'Guess this qualifies as a special occasion', and catching myself from laughing even though I know Aunt Araceli would have laughed, I doubt that my mom or grandmother would be too pleased if I suddenly started laughing at the reception get together for my dead great aunt. Looking around I find a empty seat to take, as I sit there I ponder about tomorrow, the will reading. I know typical will readings are not done with the entire family present, but it was something my aunt had requested. She wanted all of us together to hear about her wishes, I guess it was her way of getting us to be around each other for a longer period of time. Don't get me wrong I hold no qualms about my cousins but they live on the opposite end of the country from me so we don't see each other often, its just a distance thing. Sighing lightly at the thought of what tomorrow would bring I look up to see my mother calling me over, its time to leave the reception and go home.
hehe 1890 WORDS!! 1 hour 12 minutes :)
Is it ok so far?
Today was the day the world ended, well maybe not THE world but my world, or a part of it really. Today is the day of my Great-Aunt Araceli's funeral. It's weird knowing that my aunt is not going to be around come Christmas in a few months, or knowing she won't be able to come see my violin recital next week, my mom isn't sure if I should still perform since we are at Great-Aunt Araceli's funeral today, but my Aunt loved my music and told me to never miss a show so I am going to do this for her. I will be playing for her and hoping she hears it wherever she is, I want her to be proud of me, she wouldn't want us to be sad, she would want us to remember the happy times the good times we had with her.
Looking at my mom and my grandma, I know they are sad and they miss Aunt Araceli a lot, neither of them is looking up and standing straight as she would say, they are looking at their feet and hiding their faces. Aunt Araceli would always say "look up and show the world your face, even when you are sad show them you are not broken!" She would never have wanted us to be sad, I think if she had gotten her way we would have had to wear rainbow colors to her funeral, she hated the color black said it was not a color but something that drained all the color away, made everything dull and lifeless. Even in the last month or so when she was really sick she never seemed dull or lifeless, which is something she prided herself on. Not letting people know she was sick or feeling ill, she was amazing at being able to hide her illness from others even at the worst times.
If i look over at my uncle and my grandpa they are sad as well, you can see it in their eyes if you look closely but their faces are stoic, I guess its a man thing, because as i look at the rest of the male guests i see all dry and straight faces. Their eyes though tell the whole story, you can see it, the sorrow reflecting in them as they look at the casket that has my Aunt's body in it. The official makes a motion with his hand which beckons my grandmother and her husband forward. Aunt Araceli never married so she has no husband to visit her grave and Aunt Araceli and Grandma Akilina's parents died before I was born so Grandma and her husband are the first to go to the casket and say their goodbyes. After Grandma and Grandpa it is my mom and dad's turn to go, I go up with them but hold back, tugging lightly on my moms arm so she lets go of me, She turns and looks at me
"I want to say goodbye to her by myself" I whisper softly.
Something passes through my moms eyes before she nods and lets go of my hand to walk up to the casket and place a lily on it. From where i am standing I can not see what my mom is doing but I see her head bow before she moves away from the casket. Trembling I walk up the rest of the way and place the lily and the note I wrote to her on top of the casket.
"Aunt Araceli, I know wherever you are you are happy, you never went a day in your life that I knew you as an unhappy person. I will do my best to always be happy. I will never forget you." I vow as I look at the picture of my Aunt sitting on the porch swing at Grandma Akiline's home.
I walk back and join my parents who are next to my grandparents and my grandma hugs me close. I don't even protest even though she's kind of suffocating me in her shoulder, I know she needs the comfort. I do too, the reassurance that someone is alive and well, and will not be leaving anytime soon. We watch the rest of the funeral guests pay their respects to Aunt Araceli and then the official motions to the people waiting to the side of the funeral party. I watch as they walk over and begin to lower the casket into the grave. It was something I knew was going to happen, but to watch as it slowly is swallowed up into the ground is another thing it is heart-rending. I wanted to look away and I did for a moment but I saw Aunt Araceli's picture on one of the little booklets that my mom and grandma made, and as I looked at it for that moment I could hear her telling me to watch her and not take my eyes off of her. That this was not a sad time but a time of an end meeting a beginning. Looking back at the casket being lowered, I remembered what was in those little booklets they had made, a picture of Aunt Araceli, her birth date and death date, high school she attended, college she went to, activities she had participated in, places she liked, her hobbies and charities she was fond of. It was a booklet that had Aunt Araceli's life wrapped up in it completely, it was amazing that such a tiny book could have that much information in it.
We stayed after most everyone had left with my grandparents, they needed us there, and I did not mind staying longer. Most people find graveyards scary places, places where ghost stories are told and zombies come alive. To me a graveyard is peaceful, it is a place where people go to sleep away the rest of their existence. I do not think that people stop existing once they are dead, because if they did would they fade from our memories? People who die have to exist maybe not in this world or on this plane even, and I am not talking about religions either but they have to exist somewhere, even if that existence is only in our memories. Graveyards are also places where stories are held, the tombstones and tombs tell stories of the people that are engraved on them or entombed inside them. Every marker is another part of history, and it pains me to see some of them in such a state of disrepair their stories are faded and crumbling away. Looking at Aunt Araceli's marker it is still gleaming with newness and I know i will never let it get crumbly and broken. Her story will be one that is able to be read for as long as I can preserve it.
After my grandmother finished saying her goodbyes to her sister, we split into separate cars and headed to the reception type thing that had been planned by my uncles wife. She had done the planning of this so that my mother and grandmother would have less to stress about since they had the planning for the funeral and all to deal with. As we headed into the backyard of my uncles home, I heard music, as I listened closer I realized it was my Aunt's favorite song beginning to play. I began hearing the murmuring of voices and almost jumped when I felt a hand on my arm, turning I realize it was Aunt Araceli's friend Logan. I gave him a hug, and when we pulled apart he left his hands on my shoulders and he smiled faintly; kinda wryly,
"You look so much like Araceli when she was your age." Blinking as I look at him in faint confusion. He smiles again "never been shown pictures of her when she was that young have you?"
Shaking my head in the negative he gently pulls me over to the side where there a table set up. On the table is the booklet that was at the funeral as well as a guest book and several books. Picking up a medium sized one he flips open to a certain page and shows it to me. Looking at it my eyes grow wide as I look at a person who could be my twin or that I could have been a twin of had we been born at the same time, and not decades apart. Looking up at Logan he smiled and gestured for me to flip the page to the next sequence of pictures. I could see Aunt Araceli standing there with her violin proudly in her hands. This was a side I had never seen of my Aunt, I knew she had loved listening to my music, but she had never told me that she knew how to play as well.
Seeing me looking hard at that picture in particular Logan began speaking to me, "She loved that instrument, but back before we knew what she had, we thought she was just sick a lot of the time, and she would get incredibly shaky and it would mess her up. She had just gotten some medicine that helped quell the shaking and it was a good thing too, she had a recital to perform, but whatever she had out maneuvered her medicine. In the middle of her song her hand slipped and she played a wrong note, it was obvious to even the most music-less person in the audience but rather than break down and leave she held her head high and began right before that part and finished the song flawlessly. That was when we first knew something was wrong."
Listening to Logan's story about my aunt made me proud of the person that I knew, She had imparted those lessons she had learned to me even if she hadn't told me the story, it was still something of hers that she gave to me, her courage.
Wandering around through the rest of the guests at the reception and receiving condolences from friends of Aunt Araceli's and relatives that I rarely saw except on special occasions. Musing to myself 'Guess this qualifies as a special occasion', and catching myself from laughing even though I know Aunt Araceli would have laughed, I doubt that my mom or grandmother would be too pleased if I suddenly started laughing at the reception get together for my dead great aunt. Looking around I find a empty seat to take, as I sit there I ponder about tomorrow, the will reading. I know typical will readings are not done with the entire family present, but it was something my aunt had requested. She wanted all of us together to hear about her wishes, I guess it was her way of getting us to be around each other for a longer period of time. Don't get me wrong I hold no qualms about my cousins but they live on the opposite end of the country from me so we don't see each other often, its just a distance thing. Sighing lightly at the thought of what tomorrow would bring I look up to see my mother calling me over, its time to leave the reception and go home.
hehe 1890 WORDS!! 1 hour 12 minutes :)
Is it ok so far?
sleepy
excited
hyper
frustrated